lock the doors
Cancel papers, milk and stores
Turn off the water, electric, gas
But you cannot alas
Turn off the grass
Sex in schools
This could have been the arresting title of the day-long conference held recently in the diocese of Hallam, at the Tankersley Manor Hotel. The official title was "Nurturing Wholeness" - a more positive and fruitful approach to this most fundamental area of life. Peter Pennington and I attended the course as representatives of St.Joseph's, Moorends - Peter in his capacity as a school governor and member of the SVP, and myself, primarily as a parent, but also as a teacher. Nurturing wholeness attempts to keep sex and relationship education in context. We are all aware of the pervasiveness of sex, especially in the media and in the world of advertising. Sex seems to sell everything. Cardinal Murphy-O'Connor, successor to the late Cardinal Hume as Archbishop of Westminster, has rightly declared that it is crucial for the health of our society that we rediscover the true place of sex in human relationships. This does not mean returning to the state of supposed morality which prevailed in Victorian times. The hypocrisy of that time, which outward modesty concealed, is not what is needed today. The way forward must be to openly and honestly seek to pass on Christian values of the intrinsic worth of each individual human being, while at the same time admitting that we have all failed in some way to live the ideals we profess.
Dr. Sean Hall from Hexham & Newcastle Diocese explained the importance of relationships in human life - without relationships we are incomplete. The famous quotation from John Donne sums this up: No man is an island, entire of itself. We need one another. How we learn to respect and value others is largely determined by our own experience in our own families, and whether we see the goodness of God Iived in the lives of those closest to us. One chilling observation made, was that if a child has not been able to form a secure base of attachment, usually but not exclusively to the mother, by the age of three, it will experience problems in developing healthy relationships in later life. The importance of the first years of life cannot be overestimated. The difference between a purely psychological view of human development and a Christian one lies in the two fundamental beliefs: that God and all creation are good; that God loves us. These beliefs underpin all that we seek to pass on to our children whether as parents, relatives, teachers or friends.
What makes the task of passing on these beliefs today more difficult than ever before? The fact that the current generation of pupils are bombarded with attitudes and values that do not conform to the Christian ideal. Life today is not what it was when I was young thirty or more years ago; a young mother in her twenties I spoke to felt the world had changed enormously even in the ten years since she was a teenager. The speed of change makes any attempt to keep abreast of developments increasingly difficult.
After the key note speakers, the hundred delegates chose various workshops, which encompassed the following topics:
What do I tell the children?
Enabling young people to make choices.
Teasing out the Christian stance on moral questions.
Education for personal relationships in Primary School.
Developing a Sex and Relationships policy for Catholic High Schools.
Preparing for the Sacrament of Marriage.
The content of all of these workshops was relevant and useful. We gathered a lot of materials as well as ideas. Perhaps we could explore the issues raised in more detail in small groups within the parish. If you are interested in finding out more, there will be a list in the porch for names. The Communications group will organise talks and discussions as required.
The conference was a splendidly organised day, planned by the Schools Department of the Hallam Diocese. They deserve great praise for the enrichment and encouragement this day must have given to so many people - it was billed as being for headteachers, teachers and governors (at least thirty six schools had representatives present); for priests, religious, parish, pastoral, youth workers; volunteers in various organisations such as LIFE, SVP etc, as well as for parents and parishioners. From the list you can see how inclusive the conference was. This issue matters to us all.
To end on a light-hearted note - the food was delicious and served with such courtesy in such a lovely setting that neither Peter nor I begrudged the cost at all. We would like to encourage others to consider attending Diocesan days such as these. They enrich our faith and enhance the feeling of belonging.
Kate Heywood
Reflections on returning from holiday
You can fasten the windows
lock the doors
Cancel papers, milk and stores
Turn off the water, electric, gas
But you cannot alas
Turn off the grass